“Happiness, is a warm…burrito (bang, bang, shoot, shoot).”
After three days of feasting on nothing but my own self-loathing, I finally had solid foods today. They say you’re supposed to come off the Master Cleanse gradually—orange juice, then some soup, then maybe some cooked vegetables—but I went straight to Chipotle and ate a burrito the size of a child. Then, to top it off, I went to my friend Dan’s house and drank a mug of eggnog mixed with two shots of espresso. Great combo, right? Burrito and eggnog? This Master Cleanse has really led to a healthier me. Anyway, the point of this is that after not really having er—um—a bowel movement for three days, I am terrified about what is going to happen in the little room with the white seat tomorrow. Maybe I should go in there with a stick to bite on, or something.
In other news, there is going to me a massive feast/cocktail party/pre-funk/slip ‘n slide/body shot party at Darren Berg’s house in Cap Hill tomorrow. I am pumped. You are pumped. We’re all pumped. I think I’m going to show up wearing stripper heels and a mu-mu. Maybe some of those big bug glasses that all the chicks are wearing these days, too. Darren if there is Gold Strike at the party I am going to leave.
-Wetzler
Tomorrow on Where’s Wetzler:
As Promised: Naked Photos of Chauncey
This entry was written by , posted on December 12, 2008 at 2:02 am, filed under Chipotle, alcohol, master cleanse and tagged chauncey, Chipotle, gold strike, mu-mu, stripper heals, walking cast. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.