Well, I now know how all you people with Jawbs must feel. For the past two days I’ve been sitting in front of a computer screen doing research on presidential inaugural addresses, and I’m hurtin’. Today when I finally left the house at 4:30 my eyes were blurry from overexposure to Microsoft Word and Chauncey was so excited to go for a walk he almost pulled me right off my feet. But hey, let this be a testament to you: Mark Wetzler is no stranger to the eight-hour workday. I’ve shoveled the shit; I’ve grinded the grind. I used to sit on the ground in the parking lot of an Audi/Volkswagen dealership during my lunch breaks eating corndogs with a guy named Enrique from Guadalajara, staring up at the sky and dreaming of a day when we wouldn’t have to wash other people’s Passats. So yeah, you can call me a man of the people. I’m like Andrew Jackson but without all the Indian killing.
Other than that, this has been a most agreeable holiday. Christmas time always seems to yield unexpected surprises, one of which this year has been the new look of BITV (Bainbridge Island Television). This channel used to be 99.7% unwatchable, but now they do all sorts of semi-engaging local interest stories that are fun to watch because they often feature people you know. The other day I was watching Christmas carols when they panned to Mrs. Hume, my tenth grade English teacher. The sounds coming out of her mouth were what I expect a deer might sound like after getting shot in the neck with a .12 gauge. It was enthralling.
Christmas Eve also proved to be a very entertaining night. Though I’ve always known Nancy to be an “If it feels good, do it” kind of gal, she’s been pretty restrained ever since the incident in ’04 involving a gram of coke in the U-Village Barnes and Noble bathroom and running naked through the QFC parking lot. That night, though, she was back on the bottle. I think my sister might’ve even slipped some Bailey’s into her hot chocolate at some point, because towards the end of the night she was tickling the ivory with a kind of fury I’d never seen. The next day I overheard people on our street asking each other if they had heard “the cat walking around on the piano keys last night” and had a brief vision of Nancy playing “Good King Wenceslas” and accidentally confusing her left hand with her right.
Anyway, I hope all of you had a wonderful Christmas as well. If you’re looking to eat half-off food at a dingy college bar with two ex-alcoholics, Darren and I will be at Finn’s tonight.
-Wetzler
This entry was written by , posted on December 28, 2008 at 9:05 pm, filed under Uncategorized, the boot and tagged alcoholics anonymous, bailey's, christmas eve, finn mccool's, u-district. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.