last day in barrow.

I didn’t see a polar bear. And I didn’t see the northern lights. Actually, that’s not true: on Alaska Airlines flight 52 from Barrow to Fairbanks I saw a thin band of glowing light out the window somewhere around Anaktuvak Pass that I think were the northern lights, albeit in a muted form. I am back in Seattle now. It is warm. I can go outside and pee on things and my wiener will not fall off. Praise Jesus.

Some photos from my last day in Barrow:

Home away from home, sweet home.

View from in front of the Airport Inn facing south.

Air conditioning.

Hypothermia ain’t shit when you got myrrh.

You know when you go to go down the slide and you realize your ass cheeks are literally frozen together? Special feeling.

Chukchi Sea. Miles and miles of desolate wasteland.

A few minutes with the ice scraper and she should be good to drive.

Frozen Chukchi bluffs.

This entry was written by admin, posted on December 23, 2009 at 8:18 pm, filed under Alaska, Chipotle, Ravenna, alcohol and tagged ak, Alaska, barrow, norther lights. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

my beef with mother nature.

So I come to Barrow wanting to see the northern lights. It wasn’t the only reason I came to Barrow, but It was something I really wanted to see. It’s cloudy the first two days, so obviously I’m not going to see them. You can’t see the northern lights in the clouds, just like you can’t see a meteor shower in the clouds. On the last day — the day I’m leaving — I get a break: it’s clear outside. Crystal fucking clear. Not a cloud in the sky. A perfect crescent moon, the big dipper, the whole astrological nine yards. There’s only one problem: my flight leaves at 8:11pm, and the northern lights are best seen at night.

I talk to the woman who runs the hotel where I’m staying, and this is what she tells me: “To see the northern lights best, it’s best to get out of town a bit, away from the lights.” She goes on: “Where we used to live by the beach we’d see ‘em all the time. Just down the road.”

“You mean by Osaka?” I ask, mentioning a restaurant that’s on the beach.

“Exactly,” she says. “Right around there.”

“What time did you usually see them? Because my flight leaves at 8:11pm.”

“Well, I remember looking out the window and seeing them pretty much every night when it was clear, but I don’t remember ever seeing them before about 8 or 9 o’clock.”

(Mark reflects on the bitter irony of the situation and jabs a steak knife into his heart, not unlike the late singer/songwriter Elliott Smith*)

But all is not lost! “I’ve seen them from the plane, too,” she mentions casually. Of course! From the fucking plane! What better way to see a natural phenomenon that occurs in the sky than from the fucking sky itself? Which means there’s still hope.

“Well, even if I don’t see them here,” I say, “There’s still Fairbanks.”

“Actually, Fairbanks is the best place to see them,” she says. “When people come to Alaska looking for the northern lights, that’s usually where they go. It’s the best place to see them. The colors are brilliant.”

So there you have it. Sometimes this is how it works with traveling. Sometimes you wait and wait to see something, and then at the last minute it finally shows its face. Show your face, Aurora Borealis!

*This line is directly stolen from Chuck Klosterman

This entry was written by admin, posted on December 22, 2009 at 10:27 pm, filed under Alaska and tagged airport inn, ak, Alaska, barrow, chuck klosterman, killing yourself to live, northern lights. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

my mood can change pretty quick.

Before it was easier. It’s easier to skulk when it’s almost pitch dark outside all day. But now it’s bright outside. It feels like there’s almost daylight. How can I skulk and be unhappy now? I’m forced to go outside and enjoy this shit, be happy about being alive. And plus I have to pee like mad and the toilet is clogged because I hate about six slices too many of greasy-ass Arctic Pizza last night. So I’ll have to go pee outside because I’m too embarrassed to ask for a plunger. But hey, it’s light outside, so I’m happy, right?

This entry was written by admin, posted on at 5:00 pm, filed under Alaska and tagged ak, Alaska, barrow. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.

a clear day in barrow!

It is amazing what a little bit of almost daylight can do for the soul. Today is the first clear day since I’ve been here in Barrow. You can see the stars. You can see actual clouds in the sky. You can see a perpetual sunrise/sunset/absence of sun if you look towards the horizon.

Another thing that’s doing wonders for my soul is the fact that I’m leaving today. Any semi-shitty situation can be overcome when you know it’s going to be over soon. But before it’s over I hope one thing happens: I hope the northern lights come out. If there was going to be one day today is it, and I hope that the fact that my flight leaves for Fairbanks at 8:11pm doesn’t mean I’ll be leaving too early to see them. I was blown away when I walked outside this morning and realized it was clear outside. I knew it seemed brighter than normal. And then I pranced all over the city taking pictures and happily kicking snowdrifts, and I almost felt bad that I was so excited to be getting out of Barrow. I thought to myself, “Shit, too bad I’m not staying another night — I’d probably definitely get to see the northern lights if I stayed here through the night.” But then I thought, “Fuck that.”

The Barrow airfield as the sun inches towards the bottom of the horizon, only to shyly retreat before it ever gets there.