REBLOG ALERT! We’re getting hecka unoriginal around here, but it doesn’t matter: Lady Sovereign’s voice must be heard. Usually when people sample a song I love I hate them for it, but I love Lady Sovereign for sampling “Close to Me” by The Cure.
Party.
This entry was written by , posted on March 6, 2009 at 12:21 am, filed under Ravenna, Uncategorized and tagged lady sovereign, party, so human, the cure. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
And may now go out and buy a pack of Virginia Slims.
This entry was written by , posted on January 31, 2009 at 1:36 am, filed under Ravenna, Uncategorized and tagged casino royale, eva green, sexy. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Though a bit late, Neil Cameron’s recent submission has won the Wetzlerville 2009 “Post a Comment From the Most Exotic Location Possible” Contest Extravaganza. Apparently he’s in Scotland right now drinking “7 different types of single malt whiskey” and probably watching Rob Roy on DVD and playing with a sword. Merry Christmas Neil, you are a man among boys. We in America (’Merca) salute you.
-Wetzler
p.s. I’m not joking when I say that Nancy was semi lit last night. I’ve never heard anyone play “Away in a Manger” with such gusto.
This entry was written by , posted on December 25, 2008 at 10:08 pm, filed under Capitol Hill, Central America, Chipotle, Ravenna, Song of the Day, Uncategorized, master cleanse, the boot and tagged wetzlerville 2009. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Last year I took a bike trip from Seattle to Vancouver by myself. On the first night I slept in a field next to a church. On the second day I rode over a hundred miles. It is one of my favorite memories from last summer.
A Wetzler brimming with confidence and expectation gets a late 3:00pm start from near U-Village.
Base camp is set up in a field near a Methodist church in Arlington. Highlights from day one: coasting through the lush forests of Skagit Valley on silent bike trails; drinking a Guinness before bed. Sixty-something miles down.
The morning after sleeping like a baby in the field.
Base camp with supplies.
The haggard face of radness (morning after sleeping in the field).
Lunch on day two before tackling the breathtaking hills of Chuckanut drive.
Mile X of over one hundred on day two. Blazing hot August day. Crossed Canadian customs on bike. Awesome.ww
This entry was written by , posted on December 24, 2008 at 4:54 pm, filed under Capitol Hill, Chipotle, Ravenna, Uncategorized and tagged bike ride, bike trip, chuckanut drive, cycling, haggard, rhododendron cafe, seattle vancouver party. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
This guy knows what’s up.
Today on Where’s Wetzler? we’re going to try a little experiment. It’s called: “Who can post a comment from the most exotic location?” This experiment was inspired by Champ Walston, a Where’s Wetzler? reader who posted a comment the other day all the way from Germany (unless it was just one of my friends messing with me). Champ, you’re a…nevermind, you’re probably sick of hearing that one.
Anyway, I realize most of you are in the Seattle area and have to attend those things you’re always talking about, Jawbs (sp?) or whatever, so you can’t exactly fly to Bhutan and post a comment from your laptop on the edge of a cliff. But just because you’re in Seattle and possibly at work doesn’t mean you can’t get creative. Take your laptop into the bathroom. Take it into the mailroom. Post a comment from the bus. Post one while driving across the 520 bridge — I don’t know, like I said: get creative. Bonus points and features in the follow-up blog (with your permission, of course) will be given to those who also send me a picture of themselves submitting said comments (markw32@gmail.com). Also, this whole thing is being held on the honors system, so Barry, don’t post a comment from your basement in Ravenna and try to tell me you’re in Cabo sipping a piña colada next to a scantily-clad coed.
The winner of this contest gets a beer on me (Readers’ note: Winner responsible for transporting Wetzler to and from drinking location if located outside Seattle area).
Post your comments by five o’clock tomorrow for consideration. Good luck!
-Wetzler
This entry was written by , posted on December 23, 2008 at 1:42 pm, filed under Capitol Hill, Central America, Chipotle, Ravenna, Song of the Day, Uncategorized, master cleanse, the boot and tagged barry coed, bhutan, colada, where's wetzler experiment. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
My computer is telling me there are two readers on Where’s Wetzler? right now. One of them is me; and this post, mystery second reader, is for you:
This entry was written by , posted on December 21, 2008 at 12:34 am, filed under Capitol Hill, Chipotle, Ravenna, Uncategorized. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Complacency makes for shitty blogging; Volatility and despair make for awesome blogging. Which is why I’m going to strip down naked and lie in the backyard until I get pneumonia or think of something rad to write about.
In other news, for those of you into Google Analytics, here is a screenshot of all the traffic Where’s Wetzler? has received since its inception:
Click for larger image
As you can see, the line starts off looking something like the plains of Eastern Montana before, thanks to The Stranger, spiking into a gorgeous peak which, if you squint just right, kind of resembles Mount Baker. It then drops dramatically into a fertile lowland not unlike that of the Skagit Valley, and if you look hard enough you can just make out a couple of tulip fields near La Connor. But do not despair, faithful reader: Shit is going to look like Nepal in a few months.
This I promise you.
-Wetzler
p.s. Instead of the whole naked thing (not to let you down), I’m actually going to sit back and relax, put on “For What it’s Worth” by Buffalo Springfield, and gaze at the snow falling on the hemlock outside my window. I strongly suggest you do the same.
This entry was written by , posted on December 18, 2008 at 2:11 pm, filed under Central America, Chipotle, Ravenna, Song of the Day, Uncategorized and tagged google analytics, la connor, mount baker, naked snow angel, skagit valley, the stranger, topography. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
“Unemployment”
by Mark Wetzler
This entry was written by , posted on December 12, 2008 at 4:35 pm, filed under Ravenna, Uncategorized and tagged unemployment. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
“Your website totally changed my life!”
This entry was written by , posted on December 11, 2008 at 11:33 pm, filed under Ravenna, Uncategorized. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
“Mark, your father is outside barbecuing a flank steak and I’m just about done with the mashed potatoes. Would you come downstairs?”
I say nothing. Garlic, coriander and rosemary waft upstairs as if bee-lining for my nostrils. I hear my mother say, “Ouch! That’s hot,” as she pulls garlic bread out of the oven.
“Steak’s done!” exclaims my father proudly, closing the sliding-glass door behind him.
“Mark, will you please come downstairs? We’re about to eat.”
I stay silent. Has she forgotten? Is she doing this to torture me?
I hear footsteps making their way towards the bottom of the stairs. The footsteps start up the stairs.
“Mark, your father has just cooked a delicious flank steak and we’ve got mashed potatoes and garlic bread and sal — oh wait, you’re doing that stupid cleanse. Well, have fun with your lemonade!”
She giggles as she scampers down the stairs. “I got him good,” she says to my dad.
“Ha ha! What a douche bag!”
“Yeah. Let’s eat. I’m starving!”
End Scene.
This has become my life. I’m sick of it. I’m done. The Master Cleanse is stupid. It’s not healthy. Not consuming protein is not healthy.
I’ve made it past the hard part—the “three days”—and I’m not stoked. I’m not “energetic”; I don’t feel like I’m eighteen again: I feel hungry as shit and irritable. I want to stick my head into the refrigerator and bite into a block of cheese, or go to Safeway and steal a bucket of General Tso’s. I want to get in the drive-through line at McDonald’s and spend five minutes ordering two of everything on the menu. I want to go to Thai Tom’s and guzzle peanut sauce. I want to inhale—literally breathe in—a bag of Doritos. I want food!
Which is why, tomorrow, at 11:00am PST, I will eat. Or more accurately: I will eat soup. And it will be wonderful. And please don’t call me a quitter, because I am not quitting. I have conquered the three most difficult days in the Master Cleanse program—have eaten no solid foods for three days—and now, having proven my worth, will resume my normal habits in the name of sanity and joie de vivre.
“And on the fourth day he said, ‘Let there be Chipotle.’”
-Wetzler
Tomorrow on Where’s Wetzler?:
Master Cleanse Day 4 Video Update and Final Recap
plus
Boots Gone Wild!: Naked Photos of Chauncey
This entry was written by , posted on at 1:06 am, filed under Ravenna, master cleanse, the boot and tagged bar rafaeli, beyonce, gisele, master cleanse, tony tave, wetzler. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.