“Who here wants to sleep in the dragon’s mouth? Who here wants to feel? I’m going to repeat these two questions, and I would like you to raise your hand if your answer is ‘yes’ to either of them. OK, here we go. Now, who here wants to sleep in the dragon’s mouth?”
“You there, you have a question, or are you raising your hand to say ‘yes’?” (I knew this would be a fucking problem).
“Sir, what kind of dragon are we talking about? Do dragons even exist? Is it like a papier-mâché dragon? Will anyone see me sleeping in said dragon’s mouth?”
“These are all very valid questions. First of all, we’re not really sure whether it’s a real dragon. It looks like a dragon. It certainly looks like a very large reptile. Big enough for you to fit in its mouth anyway. It might be a distant relative of the komodo dragon. Anyway, it’s big enough for you to fit in its mouth. As for breathing fire, I’m pretty sure it doesn’t. I’ve never heard of any animal that can actually breathe fire. But these are all very valid questions. Thank you for asking.”
(No one raises their hand).
“So does that mean no one here wants to sleep in the dragon’s mouth?” (Still no hands).
“OK, next question: Who here wants to feel?” (Six semi-tentative hands go up, and one hand by a man who appears to be very enthusiastic).
“I want to fucking feel!”
“That’s great, that’s great. I’m glad you want to feel. I’m glad all of you want to feel. There will be plenty of time to feel later. You would probably feel better if you were sleeping in the dragon’s mouth, but we’ll worry about that later. Maybe you’ll change your minds about the dragon’s mouth. Like I’ve explained, it’s not even really a dragon.”
“But I want to fucking feel! I want to feel right now!” (Man stands up and starts shaking his head back and forth, convulsing slightly).
“Sir, you will feel later. That is not how you feel. Shaking your head back and forth is not how you feel.”
“I’ll sleep in the dragon’s mouth!” (Same man starts parading around the room, picking up chairs and then daintily dropping them. When he drops them he gets very still and holds his hand up to his ear, as if waiting to hear the sound of the chair when it hits the floor).
“I will sleep in the dragon’s mouth! I will sleep in the dragon’s mouth!”
This entry was written by , posted on January 10, 2010 at 11:41 pm, filed under Music, Song of the Day and tagged clues, good music, indie, indy, montreal, phoenix, remember severed head. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
Today’s song comes from Andrew Bird, someone I became obsessed with at the beginning of Fall Quarter, when I would come home from a day at school, lie on the ground, and listen to “A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left” off the album The Mysterious Production of Eggs.
A lot of his songs don’t have high replay value. They sound good at first listen, which is usually a harbinger of short-lived enjoyment. Whenever I like a song the first time I hear I it a little part of me is always sad because I know the following process is about to happen: I’ll listen to the song about 15 times in a row. The first five or so times I’ll be in a state of relative ecstasy, writhing around on the floor and more or less thinking to myself, “Holy fuck this song is good.” Then the second five listens I’m less excited about the song, but it still feels good on my ears. By the last five listens I’m just trying to reclaim (futilely, of course) the feeling I got from the first five listens, which is a doomed process.
This sort of happened with “A Nervous Tic,” but “A Nervous Tic” is so ridiculously good that the process was dragged out about twice as long, ultimately making it about twice as painful. In my opinion, it’s the best song Andrew Bird has ever produced (by far). It feels like getting your ear licked by an angel. But, like I’ve discussed, it sounds amazing at first listen, which is always a bad sign. The song of the day today did not sound that great at first listen — and actually still doesn’t sound that great — which makes it a prime candidate to one day become a classic, or at least a classic in terms of Andrew Bird. It’s from his first album and it’s 100% violin–no lyrics–which is quite a bit different from his later songs (I’ve also included “A Nervous Tic” just in case you never listened to it when I raved about it in blog posts past).
Here they are:
P.S I should also note that for whatever reason “St. Francis Reel” reminds me of something young boys in Virginia might have listened to before marching off to die in the Civil War. It has that sort melancholic, longing feel.
This entry was written by , posted on December 15, 2009 at 4:11 pm, filed under Music and tagged andrew bird, armchair apocrypha, music of hair. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
As you might intuit from the “try-to-sound-sophisticated, try-to-sound-like-I-know-what-I’m-talking-about” tone, this post was originally intended for L’Etranger (I like the French, SOH) but did not make the cut. Which, ironically, caused me to be kind of bummed this morning.
…two of which aren’t uplifting at all.
“Yours to Keep” by Teddybears
Until yesterday I thought this band was called “Teddybears Stockholm,” which is approximately 400 times cooler than just “Teddybears.” This song is popular with fourteen-year-old girls, and in my case, fourteen-year-old girls at heart.
“Tony the Beat” by The Sounds
In a 2006 study of well-being, Adrian White of the University of Leicester found the Swedes to be the third happiest people on the planet. I’d be happy too if my main concerns were meatballs and having abnormally blond hair. Which country was the happiest? Denmark. The saddest? Burundi, a nation known amongst other things for ethnic violence and a preponderance of anti-aircraft weapons.
“Perfect Day” by Lou Reed
It’s debatable whether or not this song should be on this list (read: this song should not be on this list). Though it initially seems happy (e.g. drinking sangria in the park and feeding animals in the zoo), “Perfect Day” has the undertones of a man who is completely unsatisfied with himself and wishes for the love of God he could stop injecting heroin into his veins. According to The Guardian, Lou has since replaced heroin with t’ai chi and Diet Coke, but is still murder to interview.
“The Good Life” (Acoustic) by Weezer (off the seldom listened-to Pinkerton album)
Rivers Cuomo wrote “The Good Life” in the mid 90’s shortly after enrolling in Harvard and surgically lengthening his right leg. It was also about this time that he fell in love with a half-Japanese girl, about whom he would write the song “El Scorcho.” As upbeat as “The Good Life” sounds, the song is actually about how shitty things were at Harvard and how cold it was and how no one recognized him despite the fact that they were all wearing Weezer t-shirts (Rolling Stone). If you’re going to listen to this song make sure you check out an acoustic version.
“In My Life” by The Beatles
In the fall of 2004 my afternoons were spent sitting on a couch smoking Chesterfields with a sixteen-year-old Spanish dancer with whom I was to fall hopelessly in love. Later that same fall I took a train to the beach town of Cadiz and as was gazing at hill of olive trees when the song “In My Life” came on. There have been a few moments in my life where I have reflected, “I am truly content right now.” This was one of them.
I hope these songs make you feel better. If not pop a few Xanax and try not to think about how ever day that passes you by is a day you will never get back.
Salud!
-Wetzler
This entry was written by , posted on March 4, 2009 at 2:58 pm, filed under Music and tagged cadiz, chesterfields, sevilla, spain, the beatles, top 5 songs for a shitty morning. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
This article I wrote just got put up on The Stranger website. I wanted it to be called “Blitzen Fuck” but it was changed by the powers that be.
This entry was written by , posted on March 3, 2009 at 7:06 pm, filed under Music. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.
December time is list time, and we here at Where’s Wetzler? could not escape the fervor. The only thing different about this list is that it is definitive. This is the list. Subjective, objective—whatever. If this isn’t the list you made you are wrong. And you if you didn’t make a list because you were waiting for me to make a list so you could figure out what to like, here it is:
5) L.E.S. Artistes - Santogold
I’m not trying to seem worldly or anything here, but I first heard this song in Scotland (I’m fucking worldly). I was sipping cider with black current on Neil’s couch when I heard the Ah, Ah, Ah–a of the chorus. I said, “Neil, who is this? Turn this shit up!” And then I danced around the living room and flailed my arms and we ate blood pudding and were merry.
The reason this song’s not higher on the list is its replay value. Of course, this is partially my fault for listening to it for two weeks straight and driving it into the ground.
Another song destined for the lower echelons of this list by love at first listen. It’s also pretty repetitive. But, uh, that’s OK because: “WHO THE FUCK CARES?” If you don’t like this song I don’t want to talk to you. Ever. If you don’t listen to this song and have the urge to make your fingers into a gun and shoot the air after “All I wanna do is—” I don’t really want to talk to you ever, either. This was my pump-up song when I was traveling around Europe this fall on a trip that included said Santogold moment in Scotland. I would play it anytime I got on a new mode of transportation headed for a new place.
So, uh, no funny business…
The first 0:22 seconds of this song played at high volume is like putting six blotters of acid on your tongue and hanging by one hand off the Tacoma Narrows Bridge while a Japanese Geisha girl massages your temples. Probably. I have never done any of these things. But I’m sure it is similar.
You all know (and by “you all” I mean “Darren”) how I feel about this song because anytime I’m at a party I want to put it on on repeat and stick my boot out and shimmy it from side to side. This is by far the best song off Ratatat’s album LP3 and the third best song of 2008.
2) Lollipop - Lil Wayne
Oh, Lil’. “I said he so sweet that I wanna lick the wrapper.” “Shawty wanna thug/Bottles in the club.” Are you kidding me? Did Shakespeare never die but actually dye his skin black and move to Miami?
This song was THE song of the beginning of last summer for me, even inspiring me to see if the domain name “shawtywannathug.blogspot.com” was taken, which it was (!) by some dude from Denmark or some shit selling ring tones.
Anyway, Jesus. What to say about this song. And the video? A tour de force of limousines, fancy suits, iced-out ears, and dancing in hotel rooms. In other words: everything rad. I’m going to go take a Sharpie and draw a tear near my eye right now.
And the number one song of 2008:
1) Kids - MGMT
“Oh my god, what about like, ‘Electric Feel’? Or ‘Time to Pretend’? That song ‘Kids’ sucks.”
This is why most of you are going to hell while I’m going to be chillin’ with St. Peter at the gates, laughing and sipping a Bridgeport IPA and telling hilarious jokes about nuns and rabbis.
I first heard this song pulling out of a Lumber World in Victoria, B.C., back when I was living there, wearing steel-toed boots and building decks with my bare hands. We were pulling out of the parking lot in Zach’s pickup and the guy on CBC radio (or it might have been a girl) says, “This is the new hot shit from Brooklyn. It’s spelled MGMT but pronounced ‘Management’ and this is their song ‘Kids.’” Now here’s the rad part: I kind of hated this song at first, or at least the keyboard intro, but when I got back home I found myself downloading it and kind of bobbing my head. And then I listened to it for three months straight on repeat. No fucking joke. Winter turned to Spring and I was still listening to this song. The geese started flying back up North and I was still listening to this song. And you know what? Everyone I lived with started to like this song, too. By the time I moved out this one chick was like, “Dude, what was that song you always used to listen to? I want to download it.” And I was like, “Fuck yeah.”
“Picking insects off plants/ No time to think of consequences.”
****
So those are the songs. Act right.
-Wetzler
This entry was written by , posted on December 20, 2008 at 12:35 pm, filed under Music and tagged disturbia rihanna, falcon jab ratatat, lollipop lil' wayne, m.i.a. paper planes, mgmt kids, santogold l.e.s. artistes. Leave a comment or view the discussion at the permalink.